#IssaShares: What I've Learned Being In a Long Distance Relationship

A fun fact about my life: my best friend (Avery) and boyfriend (Phillip) live in California, over 7,000 miles away. Because it's Avery's birthday and I'm nearing four months with my bb, I wanted to dedicate this post to both of them, as well as all of you who may have someone you love plane rides away.

I've known Avery since we were kinder, frenemies turned best friends. We drifted apart when she moved while we were in fourth grade, then kinda just became each other's best friends when we were in high school. Not only is she my oldest friend, but one I treasure most because I trust her in everything! 

I've been dating Phillip for four months, immediately clicking with him after our first date. He's the sweetest and funniest man I've been with, giving me so much more than I deserve. It isn't (just) his cuteness I liked, but the way he can make anyone smile and open up. That kind and thoughtful heart of his is why I love him. 

They're the absolute best people I can ever have. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but in the end, we always have each other's back. The only thing that keeps us apart is that 7,000-mile distance! 

What It's Like Being in a Long Distance Relationship 

When I mention that the two people I love most live two plane rides away from me, they wonder, "how are you holding up? I can't do that!" or even the first shocked reaction followed with, "yikes, you think that'll last?" 

After almost a decade of updating each other through photos, videos, and messages every day, Avery and I are still doing amazing. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way (it's been four years since we last saw each other!).

As for Phillip, it's been over a month since he went back home. The first few days were HORRIBLE. I was sobbing every time I saw something that reminded me of him, to the amusement of my sister. But after a week, we settled to it. Obviously, I miss him and seeing him, but knowing he's happy and doing his best in keeping our relationship stronger is what makes me content and motivated to continue doing what I do. 

While I don't see these two every day and rely on Messenger or other messaging apps to keep in touch, I still feel more connected with them than ever. How my friendship and relationship works is pretty simple, we only have three ways that make it fun and lasting: 

1. COMMUNICATION AND TRUST 

Besides my love for Phillip (and vice versa), we both knew that it wasn't the only thing that made us strong. It was trust and open communication, too! 

I understood that I'll really need to build my trust with him, because we all have that presumption about LDRs in terms of fidelity. He had his doubts with me as well, knowing my lifestyle. Through reassurance and updates, we're able to push past that doubt and learn to trust each other, knowing we won't do anything that would hurt the other. 

Same with Avery! We never go a day without talking. You'll be surprised with how we never ran out of things to talk about, conversing about everything from our lives to how politics works. 

And what's great about both of them is that they're very blunt and straight up with me, so we're able to have that open communication without sugarcoating. Knowing what we can improve on really does help us become better, stronger people! 

With that being said, avoid miscommunication and allow the other to say their piece before you presume. Since we can't tell how they feel immediately in text compared to voice and facial expression, it might take confirmation to know what they're really thinking and how they feel. It's what saved us from a ton of fights.

2. Live Your Life 

No, don't expect me to be in bed the entire day just waiting for messages. I spend the entire day in bed for different reasons, aka I'm just a lazy bum, hahaha! 

Realize that your friends have their own friends, your partner has his own friends, they have their own life outside the friendship/relationship (just like you)! Sure, time spent video chatting or messaging is amazing, but that doesn't mean that every second of both your days should be spent chatting. 

Have your own life outside Messenger, too. What I embraced most about long distance relationships is that I'm able to have time for myself and other people, rather than being selfish and demanding time from either Avery or Phillip. I work, I workout, I'm out with family and friends, I'm studying, I'm reading, I just do whatever I love and I've never felt this great!

Time messaging is important, but know that fine line between wanting some time versus wanting them to answer within a millisecond. While time is such a crucial factor for me, I work around it. Phillip and I update each other if we can't reply or if we reply late. Avery and I do the same. We understand and just go back to what we were talking about. 

For me, there's no need to make a huge fuss about the little things. With reassurance and trust (again!), I have no room to doubt or pick a fight. 

3. Embrace and Appreciate It All 

I've talked with a lot of people in LDRs, and their biggest piece of advice is to simple appreciate all the little things and keep that love growing. 

Even the little random compliments and "I love you's" make such a difference when chatting with Phillip. Listening (aka reading) Avery's stories and planning the next time we see each other is such a huge stress-reliever because I know there's something to look forward to (and we both LOVE to plan!). 

It can get frustrating missing your best friend and boyfriend, especially when all you need is a hug. But I'm still very thankful for technology in keeping them close to my heart. And it's really what keeps me going! 

I Love You, Guys! 

I used to feel like long distance relationships was dating or befriending someone who lived all the way down south while I stayed in Quezon City. I now realize I kind of took that short distance for granted compared to being with someone who's sleeping while I'm wide awake. 

But I think it's the distance that really makes my relationships with them worthwhile. It helps us treasure those little things, may it be video chats, motivating messages, and hearing how their day goes, knowing they're going places. 

To those who have a friend or partner who live far away, don't give up and choose to love than let negative comments or minor setbacks get in the way. 

To Avery and Phillip, I love you both, you're like family to me! We'll definitely make a ton of newer memories and take more photos when I see you guys again.

Maybe I'll make an update on how it goes soon, but for now... Let's get back to some food reviews! 😉