#IssaShares: How I Cope With Mental Illnesses

I am a mental health advocate. But what a lot of people don't see are the struggles I face as a sufferer of mental illnesses. That's why I want to share my story, which can hopefully help you as well. 

If you don't know yet, my name is Janessa Erin but you can call me Issa. I have Major Depressive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and OSFED (other specified feeding or eating disorder). And here's how I (try) to recover.

What It's Like To Have A Mental Illness

I'm not going to go on about my past and what triggered. Let's just say there are several biological and social factors that affected the way I think and react to things today.

For years, I have battled with three major emotions:

• Extremely pessimistic and sorrowful, to the point I find no hope in my future
• Dread, filled with fear and panic that I either move around a lot or space out without knowing
• The worst, numbness. There is no feeling of excitement, sadness, anger, happiness, or fear. This is the scariest feeling of all, in my opinion.

Usually, these emotions/reactions come from different triggers, such as eating too much or being out of my schedule. Other times, it can come without reason. Sort of like a huge surprise you'll hate, or some ghost that sneaks up on you from time to time.

The symptoms of what I go through peaked in 2015 and continues to yo-yo its way in my life. I've experienced the best things but also felt the worst. There would be days I would snap and refuse to get up or days where I'm all out and doing as many things as I can. I used to have the worst eating habits (still do some of them, sadly), flinch at random times, space out and keep silent, or even run away. And let's not forget the sleepless nights where I'm either exhausted or filled with energy.

I pack my schedule and make sure to fill in as many outings, errands, meetings, and work as much I can to sort of fill that void and distract myself from the constant thoughts that try destroying my confidence. After all, being a freelancer who studies online gives me the freedom to do what I want. And my thinking, I may as well be productive and busy, lest I let those thoughts go and consume me.

Have I self-harmed before? Yes. Have I attempted ending my life? Yes.

But that doesn't mean it makes me any less of a person! It's the reason why many people still get surprised when I mention mental health issues I face. Battling these symptoms for many years has taught me how to fight, to find the proper coping mechanisms as I explore my mind further until I reach full recovery.

Today, I can proudly say I'm currently trying to recover, seeing myself continue the fight. Sure, there are days I still feel quite intensely, but I noticed the huge difference from the past three years versus 2018. I am able to cope and understand what I can't control, haven't thought of the urges I've had before, and I'm able to eat properly without the self-hatred and guilt.

Common Misconceptions About Mental Illnesses

Here are some things I would like to point out, especially for those who aren't knowledgeable on mental illnesses:

• I am fully capable of thinking and working. Just because I go through this doesn't mean I am any different from the "normal" person. Many of us sufferers are intelligent people with so much love.
• Again, we think and act clearly. There's a huge difference between being crazy and going through a mental disorder. We aren't crazy or broken.
• Mental illnesses do not have a face or specific audience. It affects people of all financial statuses, races, weight, etc. While I am happy and bubbly, that doesn't mean I "don't look like I'm mental."
• Religion and positive thinking is a way to cope but is NOT the absolute cure or miracle. Mind you, I keep my faith and every day I wake up feeling amazingly positive. But this doesn't mean I'm immediately cured, nor is it the solution. Just like physical diseases, it's best to see a medical professional.

These are just some common misconceptions and words I hear every day when I talk to people. I've heard it all, from "not looking mentally ill" down to "Issa's crazy." Fortunately, my friends and family are fantastic people who understand and support me. Unfortunately, there are still many who don't get a grasp of mental health, with some who refuse to learn and force their beliefs onto me.

And that is why I fight and spread my advocacy, to hopefully break the stigma and educate people while encouraging those with mental illnesses to keep going.

Today, you'll find me in random cafes (aka TIM HORTON'S) or meeting other people, yapping my head off and working my butt off to keep achieving my goals. And so far, I'm going places.

Ways to Cope and Recover From Anxiety and Depression

It definitely isn't easy to cope and recover. It will take a bit of time and patience until you find the right coping mechanisms and techniques on how to keep yourself up. However, once you find what works for you, it will be so worth the effort you put into the battle. Believe me! Here are ten things that helped me out (ten because that's one of my fave numbers, LOL):

1.  Remember to take care of yourself and take a rest when needed

This is something that many of us forget. I'm sure there are some days where we fail to focus on ourselves, either caught up with work or not bothering to take care of your body during your "off" days.

But remember you DESERVE the break. We all need the break to treat ourselves every now and then. A hot shower, painting your nails or keeping up with your skin routine... These are ways that can distract or ground while focusing on self-care. It's simple, but getting up for a bath or to brush your hair is something to be proud of, too!

2. Seeking professional help

This is another important tip I usually recommend people to do. Similar to physical illnesses, it's best to seek medical attention if you begin feeling the symptoms. That way, you are able to address what needs to be done before it worsens.There are many hospitals with reputable psychologists and psychiatrists.  However, I know that finances can be a major factor as to why some people haven't sought professional help yet. Here are some centers and hospitals that offer their services for less than 500 PHP/consultation:

• UP-PGH Dept. of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine (UP Manila)

• National Center for Mental Health (Nuevo de Pebrero, Mandaluyong)

• Quezon City General Hospital (Project 8, QC)

• UERM Dept. of Psychiatry (University of the East)

• Amang Rodriguez Hospital (Sumulong Highway, Marikina City)

• CEFAM (Ateneo de Manila University)

Please do not hesitate to seek help. It was a bit intimidating at first, but I have no regrets during my first check-up. It opened my eyes, knowing what I'm going through and what I need to do.I would recommend that you bring a trusted family member or close friend along if you need the company! :)

3. Getting support from your loved ones

Support is one of the best and top ways that made me who I am today. I was a recluse, avoiding anyone and pushing people (including my own parents) away. But my parents and sister, bless their souls, never gave up on me and put up with everything I went through. 

My family has been nothing but loving and supportive. From accompanying me to doctors' appointments down to holding me during confusing times, I realized that besides medicine and therapy, support is a huge factor in my recovery.

Meeting new friends and maintaining my friendships with lovely people have also given me hope. The support I receive from everyone is amazing and encourages me to keep going. It's all of you who save my life every day and inspire me! 

Shoutout to Anxiety and Depression Support Philippines, whose members and founders have literally saved my butt! Support from people who relate with you (like in that group), inspires you to recover. These special people are who encourage me to volunteer and become a better person for myself and others.

4. Creating small lifestyle changes for both physical and mental health

People always presume that me exercising has something to do with gaining muscle. It's a huge bonus to lift heavy (because I love surprising people with my strength despite my smol height!), I exercise purely because I want to. I can't explain the happiness it brings me right after a good run and lifting session. Not only does it burn calories for all the stuff I eat, but exercise regulates my mood and keeps me energized for work.

I recommend that you also pick up a nice sport or exercise you want to do. Even walking for ten minutes every day will help. As for me, I workout two to three times a week (busy schedule!), which includes a run, bodyweight training, and weightlifting.

It isn't just about exercise that keeps you happy and active! You should also eat the right food in proper amounts. But who am I kidding, you're talking to someone who has iced coffee as a meal replacement and is currently munching on donuts from Tim Horton's. While I do try to keep a good diet of vegetables and protein, I like treating myself to a bit of sugar along the way.

As I recover from OSFED, I continue to learn more about my body and its limits (in terms of how much I can stuff myself with food in a day). It's all about balance and eating in moderation. I try to focus on having my vegetables and meat, lessening the carbs and sugar if I can. However, you can't take away my iced coffee. You can't just take that away from me, lol! I advise that you lessen your caffeine and alcohol intake, though. It's best to have your vices in moderation or to quit while you still can.

Lastly, SLEEP. Creating a sleep schedule is imperative for focus and energy! Seven to nine hours of sleep a night keeps you energized and ready for the day ahead. Despite my insomnia, I aim to have better sleep at an appropriate schedule that works for me, which is from 11:00PM to 7:00AM.

If you have trouble sleeping like me, then I suggest that you take melatonin, which is a non-addictive supplement. And to also lessen the stress by not using gadgets right before you sleep. :P

5. Self-acceptance and love

I still struggle with self-acceptance and self-love. While I'm confident and love where I am today, there are still some days where I feel like I don't do enough. But what I realized is that I need to accept myself not only for my accomplishments but inevitable mistakes as well. Loving myself despite rejections or uncontrollable situations was something I had to really exert effort in.

What helped me was looking in the mirror and smiling, which sounds silly but effective (repeating positive mottos actually helps, too!). Keeping a journal and writing down things I appreciate about myself keeps my confidence going as well! It's really best to focus on the good things about yourself. 

Also, take note that we will always continue to learn and find ways to improve ourselves. Don't let your limitations keep you in one area and get out of your comfort zones when you have the chance!

6. Deep breathing

Having anxiety or panic attacks are the worst. These are one of the crucial times where you have to try to focus on one thing: Your breathing. Whether I'm alone or with a loved one during my attacks, I make sure to focus on breathing, which helps calm me down.

I try to do a 4-7-8 breathing exercise, known to help relax (and also help you sleep, apparently). What you do is to inhale for FOUR seconds, hold that breath for SEVEN seconds, and exhale for EIGHT seconds. Repeat the exercise until you are able to relax and get the rest you need.

7. Picking up hobbies

Distraction is a huge help to get away from the negative thoughts and emotions. For me, writing, talking, and reading are the best ways to keep me distracted while feeling fulfilled. Window shopping also makes me excited and has me forget a bit of whatever I'm going through for the day.

Some more cool hobbies you can learn are cross-stitching, cooking, drawing, DIY projects, or sports like swimming!

8. Getting a pet

Say hello to Chambi! I got this dumb cat (JK) last December after my mom rescued kittens from the trash. She's a little furball who's low-maintenance but high in love and bites. I can't tell you the many times she's helped keep me grounded and calm. She actually gets used to it, licking my eyes to sense if I'm crying or sleeping beside me every night.

If you can and are ready to have a pet, I suggest that you adopt. Also, you don't need to have a huge dog or cat! Hamsters or fish are great companions as well. For me, having Chambi keeps me busy and out of my thoughts in good ways.

9. Turn to a good movie or listening to music

This is a go-to for me. Watching funny YouTube videos, FRIENDS, or listening to music that hypes me up makes me a bit happier. And since I have a short attention span, I really appreciate good music while I work. I dance while I work in my chair, keeping me up and running during work.

10. Looking forward to something

This is a personal coping mechanism that helps me a LOT. It's the most effective of all coping mechanisms I've tried. Because I love to keep myself busy, I plan out my days and meet-ups with people. Creating travel itineraries and searching up on new places/events to visit (and blog about!) are great ways that keep me excited and encouraged. 

I know that what I mentioned is easier said than done. But it's possible. I encourage you to take the small steps to get up while taking rests or breaks in-between. Slow and steady wins the race, which is why I advise you to take it step-by-step rather than to put yourself all in, which can be quite exhausting!

And if you ever need any advise or support, you can always message me on Facebook or Instagram!

I had another section for those who are currently caring for someone with a mental illness. As much as I want to add it all here, one post isn't enough! Expect a continuation soon. :)

Stay healthy and cont;inue the fight, warriors!